I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Drake has all the answers
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize