I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
