His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
