well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
