Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
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i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It's never too late to be topless.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
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In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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