Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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