Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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