Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
no, he came in my armpit
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
