I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
