Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
