can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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