I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
