you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
