why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
you will always have a special place in my vag
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
