he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
