Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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