My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
