I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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