this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
