I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
operation harelip BJ is a go
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
