I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Randomize
