I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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