You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
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ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
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i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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