Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
50% drunk capacity currently
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
