so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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