she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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