my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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