I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
