does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
