Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
