Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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