Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
