If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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