They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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