we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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