i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
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