Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Fuck appropriateness.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
