I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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