I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
