That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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