i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
