put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
