I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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