She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You work out of a Hotel?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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