The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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