Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
