Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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