In America we eat man semen.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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