Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
