I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
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