Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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