I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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