the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
