try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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