i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
