cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He? As in you personified your dick?
They have beer where we have blood.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
