And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize