how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize