your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
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You insisted on take shots off of plates.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
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I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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