well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
