No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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