my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
