Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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