Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize