Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
