David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
