i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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